1. Work has been sucking the life out of me.

2. I am always tired.

3. My boss is leaving this summer.

4. I’m expected to replace her.

5. See #1 and multipy by 10.

6. Attended a nice going away party for Petro at Hooters.

7. We lost the best player on our dart team and in Itaewon (see #6).

8. We lost the championship game to our arch rivals XOX 16-14 (see #7).

9. I played decent, but lost two legs I should have won (see #8).

10. I had dinner at Top Cloud, the restaurant on the 33rd floor of the Samsung Building.

11. The view was great, the buffet wasn’t worth the price.

12. If you go, order off the menu.

13. Went to the Latern Festival in Jong-no and enjoyed myself.

14. Found a great outdoor (garden) Korean restuarant in Insa-dong.

15. Sorry, I forget the name–I know it had garden in it.

16. I resigned as Captain of the dart team.

17. My granddaughter turned 3 on Children’s Day (May 5).

18. I haven’t seen her for over a year and that really sucks.

19. Last Friday night I went out drinking and when I left Debut bar the sun was coming up.

20. I didn’t go out on Saturday.

21. I got the results of my colonoscopy.

22. Negative for cancer.

23. But I have been advised I need to do another one in a year.

24. If one of the polyps had been any larger they would have removed part of my colon.

25. I’m glad I went when I did.

26. I have dreams about dying.

27. And that would really piss me off.

28. Because I will retire in 2 years, 6 months and 27 days.

29. Not that I’m counting.

30. I am ready to go back to the Philippines.

31. But likely won’t until September.

32. I hope I don’t sound depressed.

33. Because I really am not.

34. I’ll ‘fess up to melancholy.

35. I really think Obama is full of shit.

36. And would be very bad for America.

37. I think it is fair to judge someone by the company they keep.

38. And MAN, the WEATHER just ain’t WRIGHT.

39. If you get my meaning.

40. I got an invite to Scott’s wedding in two weeks.

41. Korean weddings are a lot of fun.

42. I’m thinking the guys night out this Saturday will be fun as well.

43. I have met some really great people here in Korea.

44. And I’m tired of saying goodbye to them.

45. Colin is next, but I can’t begrudge him much.

46. Because I’ve never seen him smile so much.

47. Love will do that to you I suppose.

48. And I will have someone I know when I travel to Vietnam.

49. I think I will go out and practice darts tonight.

50. Fifty is a good place to stop this nonsense, don’t ya think?

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It is funny what pops up in your email. Even funnier that perfect strangers happen upon my blog and find it somehow worthy of their attention. Hell, I am thrilled when someone takes the time to leave a comment. But sending a warm and thoughtful email actually inspired (guilted?) me into posting some new crap here. Here’s what Michael from Sarasota had to say:

hi John,

I wanted to write you a quick email. I have been periodically reading your blog over the last couple years. You have a really great way of bringing your experiences to life on the computer. I wanted to tell you though, that something odd has happened to me. Let me explain.

I am American. I left the U.S. and went on a year+ long journey around the world when I was 19-20. When I was done, I settled in Germany for 4 years. There I would meet my Japanese wife. Other great adventures ensued. in 2001 I returned to the US and I now live in Florida. Knowing this is important to understand the point I will now make.

On my journey and subsequent life in Germany I was quite a writer. I have books and books of handwritten journals. At one point I bought a typewriter and then it REALLY poured out of me. It was really something. All the way up until the completion of my life in Germany, I wrote a lot. Then, upon my return to the US, my writing stopped. I really felt like I didn’t have much to write anymore. Since I have been back in the US, I have made some attempts at writing but it is weird. I just don’t have much to write about.

Then I began to understand why. Living away from the US allowed me a great amount of anonymity. It allowed me an identity that was very well defined my my “foreiner” status. I was the guy from New York, or i was the tourist, etc. People regard Americans with a certain courtesy around the world, politics aside. I really liked that status. That special status made me feel like I really had a genuine story to tell, like Captain Ahab.

Now I live in Florida and life is great. It is warm, there are beaches, life is easy. The only problem is that I don’t have anything to write about because I have melted back into the sea of my countrymen. I hope that you enjoy your “gaijin” or “gwailo” status in Korea and reap the unique benifits it has to offer. Reading your blog really puts be back into my traveled life and brings that other dimension I have described here.

Just thought you’d like to know,

Michael

Thanks for that Michael. Your words reminded me that I am in fact having a great adventure, and it only stops being so when I allow myself to take things here for granted. So, I will try a little bit harder to make each day meaningful, even in the most simple or mundane things I might chance to encounter.

And who knows? Maybe I will even get off (or technically on) my lazy ass and write about them.

Thanks again for writing.

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Going through some of my email archives and came across this:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ZEN FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY

37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.

I’m thinking after my previous post I should reassure the world that I have not lost my sense of humor. Which is a good thing seeing as how often my life feels like a joke. Ha Ha!

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No idea what is wrong with me or why I have lost the desire to blog.

Well, I guess I do have an idea.

I am feeling a bit disconnected from everything and everyone in the world. And what is left isn’t all that interesting to me, so I can’t imagine why it would be to any intrepid visitor who might somehow come across this weary blog.

This is the life I have chosen. And that nearly everyone I care about has found me unworthy for living this way only underscores the isolation. But yes, I take full responsibility for my decisions. And I acknowledge my selfishness is choosing to seek meaning in my life rather than living as others would have me to do.

So there it is. Turn your back if you must. I never asked for understanding anyway. And I won’t ask for what I cannot give.

Try as I might though, I can’t stop caring.

I am sorry if that is not enough.

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